Let's Shave Legs!

Shaving is so cumbersome. I shave my armpits every day (as long as I remember) and my legs probably only once a week unless I have a hot date. *wink wink* One of the reasons I don't like shaving is because I get crazy ingrown hairs on the backs of my thighs and bikini area. Well, if I actually shave correctly, I don't have that problem any more!

This is the basics of what I need to shave my legs & bikini area:

Left to right:
Barbasol Soothing Aloe Shaving Cream
Johnson's Shea & Cocoa Butter Baby Oil
Standard Venus razor

How To Shave:
I usually take a shower to wash off first. I use my scrubby poof as per usual. Then I turn off the shower and fill the bathtub a bit. Not even usually all the way. Now, I've been told that soaking helps with the shaving process but I normally don't soak long at all if at all. If you shave at the end of a nice long hot bath, then more power to you!

I stick both my legs out of the water and rest my heels on the lip of the tub and shave both legs at once. Well, as at once as you can get with one razor. Always spray your shave gel or cream into your hand first, then rub around in your hand and then smooth it onto your legs. I have a hilarious story of me sitting in the tub in a hotel in Chicago and I sprayed the shave gel directly onto my knee. Something about the angle of my knee, the trajectory and speed of the gel because I ended up with a big EYEBALL full of shave gel that burned like the firey furnaces of a thousand Kryptonian suns. I spent the next 20 minutes crying, rinsing it out in the shower, then in the sink, then dousing it with saline contact solution. My eyeball was red for the next day. Subsequently, I will both: 1. Never use a gel again and 2. Never spray directly on my leg. Let my lesson teach you!

I start with the area below my knees first on both legs. You don't need a crap ton of shave cream, just a light coating. I also shave the tops of my feet and toes at this time Well, I'm part Yeti you see. Clearly not Hobbit since I'm so tall! I shave against the grain. That means from your ankle up to your knee. I clean the blade off with each swipe by wiggling it around in the water. The knee itself isn't as straight forward, be sure not to shave off your knee cap. Sometimes you have to bend or straighten it to get it all.

Some ladies would stop there, but again, Yeti, so I shave my upper thighs as well. Same process as below the knee. Coat the tops of your thighs lightly with the shave cream. Shave from knee towards your body. Rinse the blade often and thoroughly. The backs of the thighs is where this gets tricky. I've heard of some ladies standing, doing a magical balancing act and twisting their trunk and sticking the leg being shaved out backwards to get to the back of their thighs. That sounds dangerous to me, who is a klutz, in a slippery bathtub. Nope. I simply put my leg behind my head. Oh? You aren't a circus freak Yeti like me? Sorry, do the one leg balancing act then. The tricky part is your back-of-the-thigh leg hair grows kind of in a circular pattern. So you're going to have to shave from the knee to the butt as well as from butt to knee. As well as from inside of your thigh up around the top and towards the outside of your thigh. It's very complicated for us Yetis.

Once you are done shaving your furry legs, drain the water. Do your house mates/yourself a favor and wait til all the water is out. Then stand up and shower, rinsing both yourself off and your leg hair down the drain. This next part is optional and I do it more in the winter than the summer. But if you have dry legs or are just going to lotion when you get out anyway, use baby oil! I used to use the regular powder smelling stuff til I found this AMAZING cocoa butter version. Its new and I whole heartedly approve. Much to my boyfriend's chagrin, I put it on in the shower with the shower still running. I squeeze a stream of it on to each part separately. First one thigh, then rub it in with your hands. Then squeeze a stream on the other thigh and so on. You have oil on your hands and the whole tub now! I use crappy shampoo (Why does he have White Rain, that stuff is awful!) or body wash to wash the oil off my hands. I also use it to wash out the tub so it isn't a Slippery Death Trap. Also, the oil makes dirt stick and makes your tub dirtier quickly. I usually end up Cometing the tub myself at some point anyway, so it doesn't bother me too drastically. Just don't kill anyone with Slippery Death Trap.

Dry off as normal whether or not you used oil. If you didn't, and you are like me and tend to get ingrowns on the backs of your thighs (or anywhere really) you can use THIS magical exlixer:

Tend Skin! Holy crap this is awesome. It is glycolic acid, which means how it works is that it chemically burns/peels a layer of your skin off allowing the hair to grow smoothly out of your skin rather than get snagged and creating an ingrown hair. Put some of this liquid on a cotton cosmetic round or cotton ball. Then apply to just shaved areas that get ingrowns. Scream in agony because it burns like the dickens! However, it is very effective. Use it up to a day or 3 even after you shave to keep from getting ingrowns. Caution not to get in your eyes, mouth, lady area or asshole. It burns even worse in those areas and I'm pretty sure could blind you and/or poison you.


So there you have it! Shave your legs with confidence!